The queynte's guide to reflection

When I decide it’s time for a change, I do the same as any misshaped fuck up does; I stock up on Kahlua, milk and whiskey and lock myself away from the world. This inclusive method of reflection can get quite messy, so if you’re considering reading any of this rubbish make sure you are ready for the horrors I will leave to surprise you.
Keep yourself within the boundaries of a house. However, neglect to use as many rooms as possible and don’t go outside. The garden is a no go zone. Fresh air will just make you see sense or sober you up, and under no circumstance would you want that. This is serious business, and it is understandable if you cannot handle it; you have to have a strong stomach and no sense of smell to undergo this aptly named cleansing.
Turn the heating up, now. You need to sweat out all the shit that pumps through your veins. This is starting to sound like self help for smack heads, but heroin is nowhere near as dangerous as the shit you’ve been filling yourself with. Other people’s opinions, society’s demands, your conscience’s guilty yelling. They all add up and dissolve any content you had, leaving the crust of blood and skin. Don’t give up if you can’t stand the heat. Hang on. It is meant to be unbearable, without it you will never get it out of your system and reflection will be pointless.
After the first week, you should start to feel like a recluse. This is the normal way the negligible parts get you to break from your reflective cycle. Repeat in your head, fuck off I don’t need the bullshit. You are ready.
Consume the first bottle of whiskey, preferably bourbon. Let it intoxicate you to the point of helplessness. Don’t fight it, friend. Now is the start of the process. Two days of sleep deprivation, whiskey intoxication and continuous masturbation will be perfect. Please yourself, and be thankful of the pleasure. Self indulgence is almost a sin in most religions, and the reason is life isn’t meant to be enjoyed, you are meant to trudge on. Let this be your saviour from the terrible suffering living can cause if you do it correctly and without ‘sin’.
By this point the whiskey is gone which is a good thing. You were probably sick of it by now, I know I was. Now, have one last bout of masturbation and get some sleep. Try not to be conscious of time or even light and dark while the process goes on; artificial light will do everything you need light for, and timeless sleep is always favourable. When you awake, milk and Kahlua through a straw for breakfast. This is your beverage until you vomit. Drink as much as you can as quickly as you can.
And now the reflection will be upon you and you won’t even have realised anything is any different to how it was when you still understood the concept of outside, or natural light, or of sobriety. You will find yourself talking to yourself, and double checking everything you say to yourself. The trick now is to realise you are acting like a nut. This could take days, even weeks. If it takes any longer than a week just remember to keep your bloodstream full of alcohol and abstain from the outside world.
When you finally realise, sleep again. Then, immediately after, check the time. Whatever it reads may shock the system. It is time to reintroduce yourself to the outside world. You have been cleansed. You may not fit, but you will be empty of all the rubbish that drags the average human creature suffers with. You will find yourself in a different mind.


Be proud.

Anita Thompson is decrepid and deranged

Those of you who have visited more than once know I don't update often, and I don't speak directly to you much at all. However, I have had a terrible experience with Gonzo Wear, the site that sells merchandise in the name of Hunter, something I'm sure he'd have hated. However, Anita needs some way to make money these days.
I saw a lapel pin that I really wanted, shamefully. I bought it, then decided against it almost immediately. Hunter wouldn't have wanted that. He hated the monster of capitalism, right? So I sent a very courteous email stating my mistake and requesting she cancel my order and wished her well.
Not only did she ignore my email, she also left it long enough for me to assume she had sorted it. Not the case. I recieved a confirmation of order and information that it had been shipped about ten minutes ago.
At this point I am poorer than she would be without Hunter's memory to exploit.
On a positive note, I am currently planning my first book, 'Women with Faces like English Bull Terriers'. It should take a while to write seeing as the planning is taking so long.